I was so increasingly grumpy today that I was ready to put myself in the corner for a serious time-out. The day started off well enough - though I woke up at 5:50 a.m. for my morning run, a miscommunication with my running partner allowed me to curl back up under the covers. That should have set me up for a great morning and even greater day. Not so much.
Halfway through my delicious cup of coffee and in the midst of our Science lesson, IRRITATION struck. stayed. and grew. Thank God most of it was internal, though a few snarly words escaped my lips. I was angry at the world, frustrated, overwhelmed and (woe is me) feeling very alone. I wanted to rip somebody's head off (literally) and at the same time curl up into a ball and suck my thumb (but I've been on my toddler's case about keeping his fingers out of his mouth, so I dared not go there.)
Yes. It is that magical time-o'-the-month. And I am not crazed most months, according to me, but there are those times when I should stay away from others. When I really don't feel like playing nice. When I want to say those things that cross my mind. When the universe doesn't like me and I don't like it either.
I cautiously ventured out this afternoon for the sake of my long-suffering children to a weekly homeschool play date at the park. My running partner and I decided to squeeze in our run after the playtime. The kids ran around with their friends, while conversations with other Mamas distracted me from my internal tantrums.
Then something wondrous happened. As we started our run, I. felt. great. I was stronger than before, breathed better, endured better - I was enjoying RUNNING! I felt more in control and even pushed myself harder than I had before.
Yes, I had heard many times before that exercise was great for curing all the wacky female stuff, for releasing endorphins and stimulating all sorts of happy things to soothe and calm and heal...and I never listened. Until today. It really is true. I am back to being a productive member of society. I am calm. peaceful. and peace-filled. What I need to do tonight to wrap up the day on a continual upswing is spend some time in the Word. I have been consistent in reading the Word and have felt the effects of it, but an ill toddler, late nights, etc., etc. got me off schedule with that. Which played a significant part, I'm sure, with me being out of sorts. And these doggone hormones!!! But it just shows me that, regardless of how I feel, it is possible to push past that, to do what I know I should do, and eventually those feelings won't have as strong a grip on me. Such is the life of an overcomer, isn't it?
1 comment:
I know exactly how you feel! When I was a busy young mom I always gave myself that workout that was just for me. It kept me sane, it kept me focused, and it made me a better, more patient, mom and wife.
I'm glad the running helps. Sheer physical strength and exhaustion is so empowering.
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