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1.26.2010

Grumpy and Real

Sooooo, yesterday I was nice and friendly. Participated in Friend Making Monday, visited other blogs and left comments. I hung out with my family and celebrated my precious firstborn's birthday. Had lots of fun, though the grump clouds had started rolling in by midday. Thankfully, I was able to dodge them somewhat until later in the evening. By then, everyone else was asleep and safe from my crankiness. I tried to fall asleep. Got some praying in while I waited to drift off into unconsciousness. Then I woke up this morning. Maybe I should have stayed in bed. Except the kids were wanting breakfast (what?!?), Mr. Nice Guy actually wanted to get some work done versus taking over all parental duties, and I needed to homeschool. Don't want to get too behind...that stresses me out more. But, I. Am. Grumpy. Fussy. Irritated. Frustrated. Wound up a little too tightly. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we are moving across the country in a little over a month (just found out the news Friday after several months of not knowing anything for sure). There are so many details, but we're still waiting for some information that will help us make clearer decisions. AHHH!!! Did I ever mention that I'm not a laid back, go with the flow kind of person? I am the make the flow happen type of girl. But I can't-shouldn't-won't meddle with this process. And I need to take the time to properly process all these changes. Anybody have a padded room with a vacancy for me? I am praying. But not reading the Bible enough to gain the peace and security I am desperately needing right now. Stubbornly resisting the cure to what ails me. Why oh why do I do this? AS IF anything else could really help me. Anyway, this is me being real (and grumpy). Showcasing my imperfection and flawed nature. I foolishly turn to other things for comfort when I KNOW there's only One true source to the comfort I need, and this One has a lasting effect. Trust Him, I plead to myself. Hasn't He been faithful in every tangled situation of my life??? Oh, yes He has. Most definitely. Pride and lack of humility to yield myself to Him and to receive His grace - ugh, sometimes I am totally disgusted with myself! Seriously. On one hand, we have the Maker of the universe who loves me so completely. He has all the answers, all the power and the resources that I need. On the other, little me. It's pretty obvious which is the better choice - h-e-l-l-ooooo! Enough said. I am taking myself by the scruff of my collar and giving myself a serious talking to and a shake if necessary. Stubborn girl. You'd better get a grip on the Truth and hang on tightly to Him. No more whining and complaining and acting like a baby! Except maybe I will take a nap today to catch up on some rest. Please visit me again tomorrow where you will find a more peaceful, humble girl who is right with the God and with her world. Until then, prayers appreciated!

4 comments:

Jolene said...

Hey Grumpy. Are we hanging out on Thursday. That might make you more happy.
Congratulations on the news for moving. I am so excited for you. Be still and listen - the Lord has GREAT things instore for your family. PATIENCE!

Nicolasa said...

Sounds like you have a lot of great things coming your way and they will happen. You just gotta take things one day at a time. I am like you and have a hard time going with the flow. Go ahead, be grumpy! Get it out of your system. Tomorrow is a new day! :-)

Namine said...

hugs

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