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12.13.2008

All Points Weather Bulletin

My blogger voice has been quiet this last week. It lost in the competition for time and attention, as I have been overwhelmed by activities and rampant emotions. Has it only been a week? Last Friday night, giddy with anticipation and inhaled hairspray fumes, I was ready to head out for a night of dancing and fun with my husband. Feeling oh-so-very feminine and chic in a long flowing dress and strappy heels, bright red lips and big hair. Then the phone call came. My father had been rushed by ambulance to the hospital. After some time waiting, prayer and an update, with more promised throughout the evening, a shakier me headed out anyway. Thank God, my father was treated and released after several hours, though he wasn't fully recovered. Neither was I. My dad, in an ambulance...... Saturday morning, with the remnants of big hair, I dressed up again with the added bonus of a tiara and headed out. First stop, my daughter's ballet class for a demonstration. Lovely. Then an inspirational tea party at church. The following morning was church, with an adult Christmas Dinner early in the evening with a hilarious white elephant gift exchange. Whew. And the weather pattern from last Friday to yesterday, a week's worth, was tumultuous. It started off cool and clear, snowed, cleared up, got very warm, foggy, rained very hard, and then clear and very cool again. Parallel to my inner emotional state. Wacky. Though there is a part of me that is outgoing, I definitely crave time to myself. I need stillness and quietness within me as well as around me. That peace inside is critical to my functioning well on the outside, though it is not so apparent to others. But the filter through which I see and interact with the outside world is affected and clouded. So this last week has consisted of regaining some peace within as I processed my thoughts and emotions, dialogued with God, my parents and close friends. Working on a massive Christmas card project has helped too by giving me a creative outlet and time to think things through. My father continues to struggle with health issues. There are some family members struggling too with various things, related and unrelated to my dad's condition. A close friend has been struggling. My heart is heavy and burdened for those I love. I sense the closeness of my Lord, which is comforting, but the busyness has interrupted my drawing deeply from His well of peace. And the ostrich tendencies of wanting to hide and bury my head at times like this war against healthier patterns of properly processing. So I've been struggling. And with puffy eyes, blotchy skin, and two severely wayward pigtails, I have emerged after a week of little sleep and inner rest with my voice again. I see what's been going on, have been processing them all, and now am heading on the road to regained peace. Ah, it's quiet in the house this morning. I don't have to do anything, go anywhere, be anything... My beloved has gone on a grocery store run and has generously given me time to myself this morning without baby. I passionately love my husband, children, family, friends and most of all Jesus. But in the storm and in the struggles, I need Jesus. He alone can penetrate and help from deep within. And He is an ever present help in time of trouble. Yup, that's what the Bible says! The quietness after a storm is breathtakingly wonderful. Fellow storm riders, how do you process the torrents of emotions and life situations? What does your all weather gear consist of?

1 comment:

One Christian Mom said...

I think it is so wonderful that you know how to calm your personal storm, and that your family helps you do it. I am still searching for the thing that will not only calm me for the moment, but help me emerge and stay calm through the rest of the storm.
Prayers for your dad, and for your family, I pray he gets well soon!
Shellie