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12.06.2008

In The Hands Of A Skilled Surgeon

I received an answer to an unspoken prayer request today. Though I've experienced God's healing touch throughout the years, there are still areas I feel might be out of His reach, things I have been reluctant to turn to Him about. Why??? Sitting at a beautifully set table today, in a room with sparkling lights and warm Christmas decor, I smiled, greeted and chatted with ladies from my church at our annual Christmas Tea. I wasn't consciously aware of the question lingering in my heart, but when the answer came through the message shared by my pastor's wife, I was deeply touched. Rocked to my core, truthfully. And so very, very relieved. Fittingly, the theme this year was "The Island of Misfit Toys," from the Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer holiday movie. We all are like dysfunctional, broken toys in various ways, but Jesus claims us as His very own. The pastor's wife shared how her sons had all broken numerous bones in their bodies, and one son experienced a break that was of special concern. They were worried that the area of the break would always be weaker and affect his ability to play sports. The orthopedic surgeon they consulted replied that in the hands of a skilled surgeon, that broken area will actually become stronger, the strongest part of the bone. The pastor's wife also told us a phrase her husband likes to share: Jesus is the Prince of Peace and also the Prince of Pieces. In the hands of our Great Physician, the most skilled Surgeon of every area of our being, our broken parts actually can become the strongest parts of us. Selah (meditate on this.) I have walked with the Lord most of my adult life, yet there are broken pieces, broken places in me that I feared were beyond His reach. I realize, writing this, that these are also the places I feel the most vulnerable in. I have a great testimony of God's faithfulness and deliverance - He has brought me through and out of so many things, yet I have held onto these areas despite the Truth of His Word and the gentleness of His manner. Recently, I started wondering to myself as certain issues arose if those areas could be changed. Could they? Could I be healed? Could I be delivered? Will I always be held back by the bruised, scarred, broken pieces deep within my heart that most people don't even know about? Though I haven't let many things hold me back in my life, internally I felt crippled. Today, when I heard about the broken bones being stronger in the hands of a skilled surgeon, hope rose in my heart. I COULD be touched there, I COULD be healed, and those areas would be stronger because of the skilled hands of our Creator. My first step is to have a consultation with my Doctor. I am going to make an appointment and show Him the problem areas (though He is well aware of my condition.) This will require transparency on my part - I must truthfully share how I have been affected by these problem areas and the level of discomfort/pain they are causing me now. I have to open up, confess. Then we will discuss a treatment plan which include a daily dose of His Truth Medicine, the Bible, and regular follow-up visits (prayer time). I will let go of my management of these areas which involved self-medicating, denial, and suffering in silence. His ways are so much better. And since He is available, I need to let Him in. I have been afraid for too long. I have held onto a tattered blanket of sorrow and pain close to my heart, in a vain attempt to protect myself from further damage. The wounds haven't healed this way; I've developed some scar tissue and hard areas in my heart while other areas are still raw. But I do believe that it is time. God brought this message as well as other things recently to show me it is time to get treatment and operate. It is time to experience relief and release from areas of hidden torment. It is time to be free, to grow stronger in those broken areas, to know Him in a more intimate manner, to trust Him deeper, and to proclaim His goodness with an even bigger voice. Amen. I know this is true for me - it is time. Is it true for you too? Will you make an appointment?

1 comment:

One Christian Mom said...

You and I are so much alike. The difference is that everyone knows my problems, I am an open book, and these things do hold me back. They hold me back from becoming the person, the mother, the wife, the friend I want to be.

I agree that being more in the word could help us all. My question is this - how do you make yourself go to the word day after day. I remember one day, say I will do it later. Then I forget for several days, and when I remember I am immersed in dishwater or bathwater or some other impossible to pick up a book situation.

I have put the bible in various high traffic areas such as the bedside table, the kitchen table, the next to the sofa table. And it goes untouched for days on end. I just cannot force myself to open it.

Have I told you I was raised Catholic in a church who believed it was blasphemous to open your own bible because only a scholar can interperate it correctly? I wonder if that has anything to do with my reluctance to read it.

Sorry to hijack your blog *blushing*


Shellie