Ugh. What a way to start a blog entry. But the amount of emotional helium in my internal balloon has exceeded capacity in recent days, and I must go slowly lest it takes off out of control, then flops to the ground after a few crazy spins around the room. What a state that would be, eh?
Sorrow has been a constant companion of late, for various reasons. Seeing the physical effects as a friend battles cancer. My parents' struggles with their health and the unknown causes. Waiting for the next step and where we will settle down. Sean's trips out of town as he pursues freelance opportunities. Long sigh, deep breath...
As I contemplate the many things churning within me and begin to process them, I find there's peace too. A tenacious strand of peace. God is Who He says He is. He's been answering prayers left and right, responding to my heart's cry and petitions. It hasn't been in dramatic ways, but the responses are there nevertheless. He's brought friends for my children, a comfortable place for us to nest in while we wait for the next step, financial provision and creative opportunities for Sean, grace for the healing process and great medical care for my friend and my parents. And responses to many other whispered requests...
One of my favorite Scriptures is I Kings 19:9-12 "There he came to a cave and lodged in it; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah? He replied, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken Your covenant, thrown down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I, I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away. And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire [a sound of gentle stillness and] a still, small voice."
After the dramatic showdown with the prophets of Baal, Elijah receives word that Jezebel is out to get him. Out of fear, he runs for his life and asks God to take his life. An angel ministers to him, providing him with food and drink, and then he has this encounter with God - gentle stillness and a still, small voice.
Though I am going to conclude this blog here, I will write some more about my own encounters with that still, small voice. Sweet Lord, how patient and kind You are to Your little children! Thank You for Your peace and Your gentle voice responding to our frail cries.
1 comment:
I thank God for His provisions for you and your family! (and for mine, too, but that's another blog entry! :-) I pray that whatever you are going through is met with God's grace and mercy.
Shellie
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